Thank you so much for taking the time to take this quiz, the thing to remember is we are always a mix of different parenting strategies.
Your main parenting trait is
Firstly do not worry if you have landed on this page, for one you took a quiz to see what kind of parent you are and what you can do to create better connections with your children!
Chances are you have landed here because you are tired, you do not have enough me time and screens are so good when you have just run out of the energy to get involved! And sometimes, you are simply overwhelmed with other problems, like work, paying bills, and managing a household.
We have just been through a pandemic where we were trapped in our house, trying to home school, or if you were me work full time with a 3 year old unable to go to nursery!
But here is the thing, you wouldn't have bothered to do this quiz if you were a genuinely uninvolved parent.
“Hell hath no fury like a toddler who’s sandwich was been cut into squares when they wanted triangles.”
01. Put down the screens
Ok let's face it screens are part of our life and yep I was that person who said, before children, "My children will not go on my iPad and will not watch You Tube"
Well I think we all know that I did not follow through with that! SO here is the thing, screens are not a bad thing! It's just the length of time that people spend on them and especially children.
There is a lot of research about screen time but I think the most important thing to address first is you and your screen time. I took an innocent photo of my family once and it really made me think. All of them were sitting it the breakfast bar and all of them were on screens. No one was talking.
Being a parent is so hard and god if you want to sit and scroll because it's a welcome break then I am not judging but it is really important to make time with your family that are screen free, to really connect and spend time together.
I have a few tips to help with that:
No screens at mealtime
Depending on how far down the rabbit hole you are try limiting screen time
Lead by example
Have honest conversations about what your child sees
Use the guided access function on smart phones to limit what they can access and to put time limits on it.
Don't be hard on yourself but just remember 'Everything in Moderation'
Screens are fine as long as you also spend time together without them.
This is one not to be under estimated. Touch is the most important connection humans can make between each other.
It is so easy (and trust me I totally get this) to be sick to death of being climbed all over! But remember that to your children, you are their all, and children do not have adult boundaries.
It would be easy to say, let them climb all over your, but that's not very fair on you and bound to make you even more likely to put up a barrier.
It is really important to make time for yourself so that you have the capacity for all that children bring.
Hugs and snuggles and kisses are so. so wonderful but only if you do not feel like your space is there for anyone to take.
Sometimes when you have wondered down the path of being uninvolved with your children it is because you have lost yourself and you are trying to claim back your space.
It is not selfish to what to spend time by yourself and it makes you are better and happier Mother.
Please download my Self Care Bundle and make a plan. Carve out time for yourself and remember that you are more than a mum and you deserve to be allowed that space to bring your A game to the parenting table!
02. the power of physical touch
03. Give your child positive attention
It is a massive misconception that the big days out and the massive presents are they things that make children happen and feel more connected to their parents. I am sorry but that is just utter rubbish, and I say this because I have sen it first hand.
A 15 minute kick about, baking cookies, reading a book together, even going for a walk are waaaay more effective at building connections and 1 on 1 time really make children feel special and valid.
Providing your child with even 10 minutes of your undivided attention each day is a TOTAL game changer!
For some parents, that may not sound like much. For others (especially parents with multiple children) giving a child 1 on 1 time can be a bit of a challenge.
Set aside time to do an activity together. Play a board game, engage in imaginative play, or play with your child’s toys together. For older children, go for a walk or just spend time talking.
When possible, allow your child to pick the activity.
Avoid using electronics, such as playing a video game, because the point of your time together should be about doing something that requires you to interact with one another.
"You're still a rockstar, I whisper to myself as I turn off Paw Patrol and get into bed at 9pm."
How The Mum Squad can help...
Hi my name is Anna and I am a mum, a step mum, a meal planner, appointment scheduler, fashion consultant, chief negotiator and full time lover of all things Chris Pratt.
Ok so the last thing probably isn't relevant but you get the picture.
I have spent the last 10 years negotiating the highs and lows of parenting in all its (often, and lets be honest, disgusting) glory!
I am a mum to a 4 year old boy and step mum to a 12 year old boy and 15 year old girl (they are the reason I know what snapchat and tiktok are!)
I have lived though everything from a week in the SCBU, baby led weaning (SO stressful and messy),the struggles of breastfeeding to everything a teenage girl bring to the mix (and it's not ending anytime soon!), negotiating a blended family and my genuine concerns around social media and the effect it is having on a generation that don't know a world without it.
I truly believe that your squad, tribe, women who will tell you its ok to get through bath time with prosecco on a Monday night are the people who get you through the mind numbingly boring and often totally SHIT moments of being a parent. They are your cheer squad and will be there for all the big and more often than not LITTLE wins!
They are your friends for life, your kindred spirits and your reality check (cos sometimes we need that too)