Thank you so much for taking the time to take this quiz, the thing to remember is we are always a mix of different parenting strategies.
Your main parenting trait is
Now, before you start having visions that you are Miss Trunchball and your children are ruled by terror of doing something wrong, THAT IS NOT THE CASE!
Authoritarian parents are famous for saying, "Because I said so," when a child questions the reasons behind a rule. They are not interested in negotiating and their focus is on obedience. But lets face it we have ALL said that, god I say it about 50 times a day but I also try to explain why he can't have another piece of cake. And more often that not he understands, but sometimes he doesn't care!
You will also tend not to allow your children to get involved in problem-solving challenges or obstacles. Instead, you make the rules and they have to follow.
You may use punishments instead of discipline, taking away toys, cancelling playdates and dates out. So rather than teach your child how to make better choices, your make them feel sorry for their mistakes.
Children who grow up with strict authoritarian parents tend to follow rules much of the time. But, their obedience comes at a price.
Children of authoritarian parents are at a higher risk of developing self-esteem problems because their opinions aren't valued.
“Hell hath no fury like a toddler who’s sandwich was been cut into squares when they wanted triangles.”
01. Take time to explain
Taking the time to explain why it is your way or the highway will eventually pay dividends when they are old enough to understand.
Let's face there will always be times where your way or the highway is the only option, think not running out into the road, not putting fingers in plug holes, because that is dangerous and in those situations they should be more scared of your reaction than doing it! Something are non negotiable!
Keeping expectations and goals realistic is a real game changer if you feel sometimes you are too strict. It is unlikely that a 3 year old is going to be able to sit quietly through a dinner with grown ups. Before I had children I genuinely believed that MY child would but I really had to lower my expectations! Now I really do believe that if children are out for dinner then they should sit at the table without messing about and not interrupt.
What changed for me was realising that this was just not going to happen with a 3 year old so I dropped the idea of dinners out in nice resturants as it just was not fun.
Instead we venture out for meals at lunchtime, or where there is space where he can run around when he has finished eating and we can still relax and enjoy the time together.
02. Keep expectations and goals realistic
03. Balance Freedom With Responsibility
Children need to learn to set their own boundries and to take responibility for their choices, for example:
A child often forgets to pack all of the items she needs for school. Her parents create a checklist for her. Before heading out the door in the morning, they ask her to run through the checklist.
A child struggles to get ready for school on time. His parents create a schedule to remind him what time he should be getting dressed, eating breakfast, and brushing his teeth. They remind him to look at the clock and stick to his schedule.
If your child is struggling with something, create a behaviour management plan that will support your child’s efforts to become more independent. Provide extra support initially, but make sure that your child isn’t becoming more dependent on you to tell them what to do. Over time, they should become increasingly self-reliant.
"You're still a rockstar, I whisper to myself as I turn off Paw Patrol and get into bed at 9pm."
How The Mum Squad can help...
Hi my name is Anna and I am a mum, a step mum, a meal planner, appointment scheduler, fashion consultant, chief negotiator and full time lover of all things Chris Pratt.
Ok so the last thing probably isn't relevant but you get the picture.
I have spent the last 10 years negotiating the highs and lows of parenting in all its (often, and lets be honest, disgusting) glory!
I am a mum to a 4 year old boy and step mum to a 12 year old boy and 15 year old girl (they are the reason I know what snapchat and tiktok are!)
I have lived though everything from a week in the SCBU, baby led weaning (SO stressful and messy),the struggles of breastfeeding to everything a teenage girl bring to the mix (and it's not ending anytime soon!), negotiating a blended family and my genuine concerns around social media and the effect it is having on a generation that don't know a world without it.
I truly believe that your squad, tribe, women who will tell you its ok to get through bath time with prosecco on a Monday night are the people who get you through the mind numbingly boring and often totally SHIT moments of being a parent. They are your cheer squad and will be there for all the big and more often than not LITTLE wins!
They are your friends for life, your kindred spirits and your reality check (cos sometimes we need that too)